


EPIC CHASE SCENE, YEEEEEAAAA

by worddumb



Series: Human AU thing [8]
Category: Hermitcraft RPF
Genre: 'writer's block intensifies', Action, Attempt at Humor, Gen, They both have a tag and that has me shook-, action action action, as everything I do~
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-06
Updated: 2019-11-06
Packaged: 2021-01-24 10:48:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21336994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/worddumb/pseuds/worddumb
Summary: I think I did the cooking by the book on this one!Edit: I should've written Tango eating pancakes, not cake. I'm a fool. I didn't so the cooking by the book.
Series: Human AU thing [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1468715
Comments: 5
Kudos: 25





	EPIC CHASE SCENE, YEEEEEAAAA

“What do you fink you’re doin’?”

Tango froze, seeing Zed do the same- okay, so maybe sneaking out with someone who doesn’t even play during Demise was not the smartest idea he ever agreed to. To his defense, he was not expecting to get caught, and he missed the guy! Which in retrospect still didn’t make his decision smart, but what can you do?

Stress, meanwhile, carried on, intimidating as she is: “I know it’s _technically _not against the rules, but guyz! It’s not _in_ the rules eithah!”- at that, his dear friend seemed ready to argue, but she had a paintball gun and they didn’t, so the man-demon- was he even allowed to call himself that during this game? He had no idea- butted in as quick as he could: “How much for you to forget this ever happened?”

The ice queen glared him straight in the eye, unimpressed, and reached for her pocket defiantly: “I ain’t takin’ bribes, you _plonkers_!”

“How’s fifty diamonds looking for you?”

The queen’s hand was extended to him in a grabby motion a lot faster, then when going to get her phone, and an innocent smile shone so brightly it might just cover up her sins. Good to know all the hermits were greedy as fuck even in the face of Demise!

Done dumping a small pouch of exactly fifty shinies into the hand and watching Stress twirl out of the room all jovial like, Tango turned back to the window, where Zed had one leg out and a lot of confusion on his face: “What was that about?” Scrambling up to the man and leaning onto the frame next to him, the man-demon (fuck you Grian, I do what I want!) blinked intelligently, before-

“Oh! You don’t know Demise yet!”- right, nobody had the time to tell him.

His friend, now on the other side of the sidewalk, scrunched up his face comically: “Demise?. What's that?”- okay, so maybe Tango was a horrible person, but he saw an opportunity in this one!

“Oh, it’s just the _worst_ best game Grian could ever make! It’s evil-“- he had to wordlessly dodge Zed’s semi-automatic attempt to hold hands, and it took at least twenty ears of off his life span- “-is what it is!” 

“Okay, but-“- yet another attempt at physical closeness was thrown his way and a Tango was going to die today- “what are its rules? It can’t be just-“- all the dodging was kind of really fun but did Zed know he was torturing an innocent demon? Did he?- “evil! Why are you doing that?”

Ignoring that one- “It is! It’s evil, and nothing else. It’s like a raisin cookie, it only exists for evil, treacherous purposes!” Zed sped up a little and squinted at him. He smiled back bashfully, hands behind his back. No understanding was achieved.

The circus man went back to walking next to him, oozing determination: “Do you want me to figure it out myself? I can do that. Is it… Sharks?”

“I have _no_ idea what you’re talking about!”- which was true, where did ‘sharks’ even come from-

The rest of the road to a local bakery-pastry-caffe-thing was spent mainly evading nicely timed shoves from his friend, but Tango might just say: it’s not his fault, and it was perfectly worth it! 

Especially the looks they were given along the way. That was the most fun part.

…Tango was pretty sure local kids had games impersonating them after this trip, though. The parents could probably sue child endangerment, but eh, still worth it!

Evading shoves while shoving down his favorite strawberry cake was less worth it, but it was still fun and _not his fault_, so eh again he guessed-

“Okay, I think I got it now-“ “That’s what you said last time!” “-yeyeye, but this time I _know_-“ The arch in Tango’s eyebrows was award-winning: “Sure you do-“ “It’s about touching, isn’t it?”

Okay, so maybe Zedaph wasn’t a total tool. What a surprise!

“Maaaaaybe, but- stop that or I’ll lose!”- the ghoul before him had the nerve to use the same hand he tried to pinch Tango’s nose with to stroke his nonexistent beard cheekily, the cheekiest little look on his face: “And what’s at stake?”

So, he was considering. Now, to sway him not to kill any and all chances Tango had at this game-

“A shit ton of diamonds!”

The cheekiness did not disappear. The ghoul’s other hand started to snake up to Tango’s. Sector not clear, Not Clear-

“And how many is that?”- okay, he still had a chance of survival, now what would be impressive-

“Enough to buy a concorp shop with!”

“Concorp doesn’t sell shops”.

OH SHIT ABORT MISSION! ABORT MISSION!

Darting from the table and narrowly avoiding what would otherwise be a grip of steel on his hand- oh shit he almost spilled his tea and that would be rude- he wasted no time zooming out of the caffe- this was so much more fun then he expected! A loud ‘keep the change!’ rang out behind him like a battle cry. Jingling filled the air for the second time- oh shit Zed was a very good runner- but Tango had a plan! And better boots!

The running was getting closer, it was almost time- he halted, low to the ground, swirled on his heal- another grip successfully avoided!- and took off max speed in the opposite direction. Shit he almost got gotten- no time, Zed’s recovered!

Past the caffe again, he didn’t slow to turn into the alleyway. He almost slipped- but lost no speed! God what good boots do to people- 

Taking another hard left- no slippage this time! he’s getting good- he made the mistake of looking back. Zed stood in the opening, they made eye contact- the adrenaline _spiked_\- oh SHIT he had no time to take this 90 fucking degree turn without slowing oh god oh fuck-

He jumped, grabbed onto the highest windowsill he could reach and _flew_ up the building, avoiding Zed’s bodyslam and hand by mere inches- **_holy shiiit_**_ that was so close_\- peeking down, Zed was glaring daggers and pouting intensely, hands over his chest. Tango couldn’t help a smirk: “Looks like-“- deep breath- “I win!” 

The pout got replaced with badly-brewed murderous intent. Zed put a hand on the building.

Yep, up the highly tilted roof we go!

Once on the flat bit, he ran again, careful not to slip or brake the roof tile, crossing the rooftop and sliding down to the cornice, and there was rhythmic thudding behind him fast approaching- he all but fell from the roof, dropping from one bump to another and jumping off about a floor away from the ground- a horrible idea but can’t do it in game can’t do it in real life-

No time wasted even after he rolled on impact, he sprinted again, a loud thud behind him telling him Zed’s landed, and the panting grew closer and closer and he was too slow- 

This time as he went for a three sixty, his elbow ended up captive. OH SHIT, STABILIZE- he tripped over Zed’s leg instead. Nice.

He sprung up before his knees touched the ground- to promptly be yanked back down by his dear friend and his panicked death grip, great. The second his arm was free, he tried again- up straight in record time, ready to run-

Oh, that’s right, he didn’t need to anymore. 

They attracted a group of people with their little routine, go figure- which Tango only realized when someone asked ‘you okay man?’ seemingly both of them. Looking up from where he leaned on his knees to get _some_ rest, since laying on the ground was below him, the man-demon (totally okay now!) grinned, albeit crooked: “Yeah! Just ignore us!”

The crowd cleared up pretty quick after that. That’s the benefit of being a well known gang of crazies! Some older people even thought they were all possessed. Tango loved it-

“Hey”- came from the ground beneath him- “Help”

Okay, how did Zed manage to balance the image of helplessness and assertiveness into one? He really needed some lessons from the man.

Bending down and letting said man’s grabby little handies do the rest, Tango was kinda (read: not at all) surprised, when instead of actually getting up his friend just hung of off him like a dead weight. So, they were doing this now! 

Adjusting this impossible creacher to a nicer position, he went for a little jab, but was oh so rudely interrupted: “So that’s why-“- he was avenged by Zed’s weak lungs- “no one was wearing a bracelet! Everything makes sense now!”

“Does it really?”

Zed shifted in his arms to look him straight in the eye. Tango beamed back.

“…Yes, it does. No, wait-“- the grip on the man-demon’s clothe tightened- “you said Grian invented this game!”- woah, his friend was sure passionate about this particular topic, shifting around like a fucking eel, wasn’t he heavy enough- “But they’re one of the most touchy-feely people on Earth! This makes, no sense. I **refuse** to believe you, Tango. There’s nothing you can do about it, I do not-“ 

“You should”- that was the most poor excuse for intimidation ever. Mainly because he could not destroy the smile, but also- how does one intimidate their best friend? Yeah, doesn’t really work-

“Why?”

Tango shifted his grip on the man once again, getting him more comfortable. A look of puzzlement was thrown his way. He put on the most bashful smile he had.

“You _do_ realize I’m holding full power over you right now?” 

…

“Oh” 

**Author's Note:**

> Fun fact- I hate this!  
I hate everything I write lately, other then (Dis)trust, and as you can guess, that's largely somebody else's achievement.  
Universe help me-


End file.
